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How to talk about mental health
Tips to help you start a conversation
What is mental health?
We all have mental health. It involves our emotional, psychological, and social wellbeing, and it affects how we think, feel, and act.
Our mental health is just as important as our physical health. It can affect our everyday lives, including our ability do the things we need and want to, like work, study, getting on with people and looking after ourselves and others.
Another way to think about mental health is like thinking about the weather. As the seasons change, the weather does too. There are bright, sunny days which make us feel happy and want to do things like go outdoors. But on other days, the weather can change to dark and rain, where you don’t feel like leaving the house. You may feel tired and lack motivation or energy to do the simple things, such as getting out of bed or getting on with your day.
Whatever you are feeling, know that it is completely normal, and you can seek support or speak to family and friends about how you are feeling.
What causes mental health difficulties?
Lots of things can affect our mental health. Things like situations we’re in, things we’re doing and things outside of our control, including other people, our physical health and our finances. Even the weather and world events can change how we’re feeling.
Everybody gets affected by what happens to them, past and present. Things that happened even many years ago can affect our mental health today, for better or worse.
Talking can be hard
It can be really difficult to talk to anyone about your feelings. You might feel worried about upsetting people you care about and feel nervous about what people will think, or how it might affect your relationships. That’s okay, these feelings are completely normal.
Some people feel more comfortable talking to friends or family, while others would prefer to speak with a professional. There’s no right or wrong person to speak to and it’s up to each individual person to decide who they feel comfortable speaking with.
Tips for talking to someone
Communicate in a way that feels right for you
This might be a face-to-face conversation, or you might find it easier to talk on the phone or write down how you feel in a letter.
Find a suitable time and place
There may not be a ‘good’ time, but it can help if you’re somewhere where you feel comfortable and are unlikely to be disturbed by anyone while talking.
Choose someone you trust
Talk to or let someone know who will listen to what you have to say, not tell other people if you don’t want them knowing and who will be there to support you.
Practice what you want to say
You could do this in your head or make some notes. Phrases such as “I’ve not been feeling like myself lately” or “I’m finding it hard to cope at the moment” might provide a starting point.
Be honest and open
It can sometimes feel uncomfortable sharing something so personal, but explaining how your feelings are affecting your life may help others to understand.
Think about what you need
You might just want someone to listen to you, or you might want them to offer emotional or practical support. There’s no right or wrong, just whatever you feel would help you most.
Ask them how they’re doing
If you think someone may be struggling with their mental health, you can start a conversation by just asking how they are. Even if they talk to you or others all the time, they might not have told anyone if no one has directly asked them ‘how are you?’.
Keep checking in on them
Regular contact means they have a regular place to say how they’re doing and how they’re feeling. If someone feels they don’t have anyone to talk to, they may bottle up their feelings which could make things worse.
Give them space and time
It‘s hard to talk about your feelings, especially if it’s for the first time or if you are struggling, so give them space and time to talk and think. If you’re talking in person, they might not open up straight away, or if it’s a text conversation they might
not reply straight away and that’s okay.
Listen
Hear what they have to say and listen without judgement. It takes a lot for someone to open up about how they’re feeling.
Don’t feel like you have to fix their problems either, just listening and being there is enough.
Tell them it’s okay to feel that way
Reassuring them that their feelings are valid can be really helpful – lots of people may feel silly for feeling the way they do, but they shouldn’t feel like that. Tell them it’s okay to feel however they feel and it may help them to open up.
How can I get support?
There are lots of ways you can get support. You might find that some are more suitable for you, or more easily available. Different things work for different people at different times. Some things you can try are:
Talking to No Limits
Our trained workers can talk to you and support you with any issue you’re facing. We have specialist projects and groups that may help, and we can explore other areas of support too. You can talk to us in person, on the phone or online.
Talking to other organisations
You can also get in touch with the organisations at the bottom of the page and talk to trained professionals there about your mental health.
All support is available 24/7, 365 days a year.
Going to your GP
Your doctor is there to help you with your mental health as well as your physical health. They could offer your support and treatments such as talking therapies or medication, refer you to a mental health specialist like a psychiatrist, or recommend local support options.
Student Services
Higher education institutions usually have a student wellbeing centre where enrolled students can go for support. Your school or college will also have support staff who are there to help you.
Want to talk to No Limits?
We have a range of mental health and wellbeing services for children and young people under 26 in Southampton, Hampshire, Portsmouth and the Isle of Wight, including therapeutic support from counsellors and youth wellbeing practitioners, our out-of-hours Safe Havens for young people experiencing a mental health crisis, and our Advice & Wellbeing Hub which offers you ways to get support from trained youth workers without having to wait.
Find out more24/7 mental health support
You can contact these organisations for support. All support is free, available 24/7, 365 days a year.
– Papyrus – Phone service for people under 35 experiencing suicidal thoughts. Call their Hopeline on 0800 068 4141
– SHOUT – Anonymous text service for people struggling with their mental health – Text ‘HANTS‘ to 85258
– Samaritans – A phone service for if you need someone to listen to you. They won’t offer you information or advice, but they will listen – Phone 116 123
Our mental health resources
We have lots of other mental health resources on our website on topics including anxiety & panic attacks, depression & feeling low, loneliness and mental health crises.
See our mental health resources